Mystery solved!
I was having trouble with my wife's phone where on Messages it always said "Wife has sllenced notifications" no matter what we did on any of her devices. During an AppleCare call the other day, they had us reset her phone but it did not help. Then they had me reset my phone (settings not reload iOS) thinking the issue was on my phone. Eventually that issue got fixed.
But I had not reset my phone for a while and was not aware that one of the things you have to re-establish is Face ID. So that is my the Face ID settings were not showing up. Once I re-established Face ID on the phone, the settings then appear on the 1P Security page.
So I think we are now back to normal.